Tuesday, August 27, 2013

Let me hold you longer

Long ago you came to me,
a miracle of firsts,
First smiles and teeth and baby steps,
a sunbeam on the burst.
But one day you will move away
and leave to me your past
And I will be left thinking of
a lifetime of your lasts…

The last time that I held a bottle
to your baby lips
The last time that I lifted you
and held you on my hip.

The last night when you woke up crying,
needing to be walked,
When last you crawled up with your blanket,
wanting to be rocked.

 
The last time when you ran to me,
still small enough to hold.
The last time that you said you’d marry
me when you grew old.

Precious, simple moments and
bright flashes from your past-
Would I have held on longer if
I’d known they were your last?
Our last adventure to the park,
your final midday nap,
The last time when you wore your favorite
faded baseball cap.

Your last few hours of kindergarten,
those last few days of first grade,
Your last at bat in Little League,
last colored picture made.

I never said good-bye to all
your yesterdays long passed.
So what about tomorrow-
will I recognize your lasts?

The last time that you catch a frog
in that old backyard pond.
The last time that you run barefoot
across our fresh-cut lawn.

Silly, scattered images
will represent your past.
I keep on taking pictures,
never quite sure of your lasts…

The last time that I comb your hair
or stop a pillow fight.
The last time that I pray with you
and tuck you in at night.

The last time when we cuddle
with a book, just me and you
The last time you jump in our bed
and sleep between us two.

The last piano lesson,
last vacation to the lake.
Your last few weeks of middle school,
last soccer goal you make.

I look ahead and dream of days
that haven’t come to pass.
But as I do, I sometimes miss
today’s sweet, precious lasts…

The last time that I help you with
a math or spelling test.
The last time when I shout that yes,
your room is still a mess.

The last time that you need me for
a ride from here to there.
The last time that you spend the night
with your old tattered bear.

My life keeps moving faster,
stealing precious days that pass,
I want to hold on longer-
want to recognize your lasts…

The last time that you need my help
with details of a dance.
The last time that you ask me for
advice about romance.

The last time that you talk to me
about your hopes and dreams.
The last time that you wear a jersey
for your high school team.

I’ve watched you grow and barely noticed
seasons as they pass.
If I could freeze the hands of time,
I’d hold on to your lasts.

For come some bright fall morning,
you’ll be going far away.
College life will beckon
in a brilliant sort of way.

One last hug, one last good-bye,
one quick and hurried kiss.
One last time to understand
just how much you’ll be missed.

I’ll watch you leave and think how fast
our time together passed.
Let me hold on longer, God,
to every precious last.

























7 comments:

Melanie said...

Oh Jenny, I knew when I saw the title that I shouldn't have clicked over...now I'm sitting in puddles! Tears at all the lasts gone by & even more thinking of those that are happening right now! Makes me cherish each day even more!!
And, wow, what GREAT pics of your kids! You got some really good ones here that capture the personalities of each of your precious little ones!! Beautiful!

Bethany said...

Wow- what a great reminder for us moms to treasure all those little moments and not let them pass us by. Thanks for this!

Brian & Ashley said...

Made me tear up and hold Hudson a little longer at bedtime last night!

Sarah Campbell said...

Jenny...you are killing me. The tears are flowing. I just dropped off 3 in my crew for their 1st day of school (7th, 4th, and kindergarten). What a beauitful poem to remember hang on to all those special times.

Sweat Is My Sanity said...

Beautiful pictures and poem. I'm left feeling thankful for all the lasts I've caught on camera and firsts I have yet to capture. Sweet post.

swissluxi said...

What a wonderful and inspiring blog post Jenny!

Lexie Loo, Lily Boo, and Dylan Too! said...

This post made me cry! These postpartum hormones are getting to me!